Jordio Kinesiology – with Jordie Slonim | Melbourne, Australia

Kinesiology & Vibrational Healing


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The Duality of Connection & Disconnection: Acts of Kindness During Christmas and Beyond.

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About a week ago, I had a friend message me to check in with me, in acknowledgement that Christmas is not always the happiest time of year for everyone.

She is spot on.

Christmas can be a time of joy, belonging, connectedness and family, and it can be a time of grief, loneliness, disconnection and separation.

Many people have a tough time around Christmas for varied reasons. Being surrounded with themes of being with family & friends in the media, and for many of us, the dreaded question, “What are you doing for Christmas?”, can exacerbate loneliness and enhance feelings of inadequacy.

For me, there is a sense of dread every year. I am of Jewish background and don’t celebrate Christmas or Jewish holidays either, and generally don’t have options to spend the day with people. It is also a time when a dear friend committed suicide a few days before Christmas, 8 years ago.

This creates a space of duality.

I can acknowledge and feel grateful to know about the belonging, joy & connectedness of others, whilst at the same time feeling my own pain of disconnection & grief, and the similar pains of others.

Holding space for this duality simultaneously, is also a paradox. It takes much energy to hold this kind of space, without getting caught up in one end of the scale or the other and staying in a space of acknowledging and honouring the contrast. At the same time, there is a sacredness of connection in being in this duality – the duality of feeling disconnection from most people around me with their joy and belonging and connected BECAUSE I am holding space for their connection and my disconnection simultaneously.

To know my pain doesn’t diminish another’s joy or vice versa – that is what makes me feel more connected. I can feel grateful for other’s joy, whilst simultaneously not denying my grief.

The simple acknowledgement from my friend that it may not be the happiest time, the act of checking in, can have such an impact on a person’s life. Not just st this time, but any time. Just to know someone was thinking of me, knowing my situation, filled my heart with connection and gratitude and meant so much to me.

If you know of people who are likely to be alone this Christmas or even suspect as much, a simple act of kindness in this crazy busy time could be a small message, text or phone call: “Hey, I was thinking of you.” 

And not only for Christmas. “Hey, I’m thinking of you.” at any time can help transform someone’s not so great energy, to feel even just a little more uplifted.

I like to check in with people, just as much as I like people to check in with me. It is a simple act of kindness, that can create a loving, generous, uplifting vibration to ripple through our interconnectedness.

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Embodying Presence

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Ten years ago, around this time of year, I was presenting my graduate performance choreography, “In The Absence of Presence” for my Bachelor of Arts in Performance Studies.

It was a challenging time as my then partner and I were at the same time planning to move back to live in Ireland where her family live.

I decided to do the piece, as for the year before, my partner was living in Ireland and I was in Australia. At that stage, we had been together for 10 years. The theme of the piece was about what I was going through, living away from my partner for a year. Absence, longing, belonging, waiting, waiting, waiting.

At the time of making the work, I had glimmers of what it was really about, glimmers that I quickly shoved aside.

It was really about being absent from my own presence. I was lost. I didn’t know who I was for a long time before I made the choreography and for a very long time afterwards.

I had a kinesiology session today and something wonderful emerged with what I have been experiencing of late.

My way to move to the next stage of connection, expansion, balance and growth is to embody presence.

I have been intellectualising my spiritual self and abandoning it at the same time. I’ve been resisting that I can trust the flow of spiritual growth. I’ve been in a state of looking for proof of anything and everything instead of leaning into the joy of what I love with Kinesiology and the research I’ve been doing to develop new protocols, ironically, one new protocol about elements of trust.

I haven’t been integrating spiritual growth with other aspects of myself.

Over the last few months, many of my clients have needed brain integration balancing, and many of those sessions have also been about being present.

The techniques I employ in a kinesiology session, in these cases, to do with brain integration, not only help clients become more present in their lives, they also have had spectacular results in gaining clarity for decision making, gaining focus, clearing brain fog, and moving forward with ease and confidence in trusting the entirety of their being.

In our growth, integration of all aspects of self, even those parts we may not necessarily want to integrate, go to make us whole. In clearing the blockages to integration, we move our whole self forward, embodying presence.

How do you embody presence?


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Shame Resilience: My Mother’s Day Experience

 

For me, Mother’s Day reminds me of two things. My feelings towards my own mother and my feelings about not being a mother. This is not the same every year, but this year, these feelings have taken over.

The feelings I get the majority of the time when I am around my mother, or going to be around her are dread, draining, inadequacy, guilt, not belonging, not good enough, disconnection, inauthentic, and deep deep shame. I have done an abundance of work around issues with her. And despite all the work I’ve done, I still feel shame not only with the issues with her, but also shame about the feelings I have. Especially when I have so much empathy with her about her own experiences.

I made a list of the emerging emotions around issues with my mother and issues with not being a mother and they are alarmingly similar! Today, however, I am going to lean towards addressing the experiences in regards to my own mother.

I was on my way to my mother’s house yesterday, walking along, an abundance of negative self talk (about the feelings about my mother), going through my head (I’m an asshole, I’m mean, I’m spoilt, I have no gratitude, I hate myself for feeling like this, I’m ashamed), and desperately wanting to smoke (I quit 4 years ago) or wanting some cake type thing (I still do this!).

So there I am, perpetuating the shame experience by either indulging in, or thinking about undertaking behaviours where I believe I should be isolated – eating crap & smoking. And when I do eat crap now, it is in isolation.

These behaviours don’t align with two of my core values of authenticity & connection.

Instead I want to disconnect – numb and be inauthentic by hiding my way of ‘coping’.

I suddenly remembered some work I’ve been doing in Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly & Rising Strong courses I have been looking at all that I do, say, think, feel & running them through these values – authenticity & connection, my driving forces.

So I came back to authenticity and connection – the resources that help me show up when I lose sight of my way and those shaming thoughts take over.

The only way to pull myself out of the shame I feel is to reconnect with my heart space & my reminder through the day became to shower myself with love & empathy, to love myself even though I feel this way.

From my work in Kinesiology & working with clients, I come back to reminding myself in my more logical moments, that the reaction I am having is an emotional one and that part of my brain has taken the reigns & logic is tied to the back of the horse carriage by a rope, stumbling along, trying to catch up to help steer the carriage. My entire being, in this reactional state, has gone into either a fight mode, fly away mode, freeze – just stop dead in its tracks or fragmentation mode – where I am trying to fight, fly away & freeze all at the same time and my being doesn’t know where its at.

In a kinesiology session, one of the techniques we often work with to help move through this kind of state are subconscious sabotages. We use a combination of tapping and the following phrase (the wording changes with some variables), along with an emotion, to clear whatever obstacle or sabotage our subconscious patterning is putting in the way of us moving forward with an issue:

For Example

In spite of this conflict in attitude about shame around my mother, I deeply and profoundly love, accept, respect and appreciate myself.”

So, along with reconnecting with my values of connection and authenticity, I found the variables, did the technique and released that deep emotional state that took hold……

Then I showered myself in love and empathy. And not in the form of cake either!

I don’t think I’m alone with my feelings about being around my mother and my feelings about not being a mother.

To stay authentic and connected, I am showing up and being seen with this experience.

I am writing this so whoever reads this and can relate with the emotions of the experiences, can know that they are not alone. I have been second guessing about whether to put this out there or not, for several reasons, one of which is that someone I know has lost her mother today. And also, because I look at all the flak people receive in the media for speaking about things like this and it almost stops me.

This time, I won’t let it stop me. The importance of connection and authenticity far outweigh any flak I might receive for any of the content of this article.