Jordio Kinesiology – with Jordie Slonim | Melbourne, Australia

Kinesiology & Vibrational Healing


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Duality/ Nonduality of Panic & Resilience

Have you ever felt panicked or anxious?

What story do you tell yourself when you’re in the middle of it?

When you dig into it, you’re likely to discover its usually an ‘I’m not good enough’ story.

IMG_0045In Kinesiology, we work on every aspect of self. So what happens physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, hormonally, chemically, relationally, socially when you are in a perpetual, daily state of fight, flight, freeze, fragmentation?

I remember 3 distinct times I went through extended periods of panic attacks. 

The physiology in each event was fairly similar. Nervousness around my solar plexus, denseness of breath, waking up, navigating my day, going to bed – all with a sense of panic & dread, not eating (definitely not my usual stress response). And not knowing when it would end was excruciating.

The first of these panic experiences, I was living in London, and after a series of stressful events, Iwitnessed a physical attack on my girlfriend.

The second was living in Ireland, 13 years later & breaking up with that same girlfriend.

The most recent was within the last 6 weeks, after my housemate was verbally abusive & aggressive,and, subsequently, needing to find a new housemate.

So, Panic. What is it?

Physiologically, we are programmed for survival. Our primitive responses kick in. To keep us alive. The digestive & reproductive systems slow, blood is directed to our arms & legs so we can either run away or fight. We become fully present in this fight/ flight response. Everything is about that. 

It forces you to be present, and yet not, at the same time. It’s not the only thing, but it is the only thing you can give to. Duality.

Within the housemate event, almost everything else in my life stopped. I did the bare minimum of work. My client base dropped, all extra work on creating my kinesiology protocols abated. All I could think about was – I need a new housemate.

And, with my current awarenesses through kinesiology & other tools & exploration of duality, navigating these panic attacks was a different experience.

The only tool that got me through that stage of extreme panic, was saying to myself, “Right now, in this second, I am good. I have a roof, I have a bed, I have food.”, over & over, sometimes hundreds of times a day, to navigate the physiology.

Amidst the physical sensations of panic, I knew I was telling myself a story, an ‘I’m not good enough’ story. 

Not good enough stories are about shame. Shame is a trauma response. So is panic. So maybe under every panic attack there’s a not good enough story. So I asked that panic feeling some questions.

And this is what I discovered:

My housemate not good enough story I was telling myself was, “No one wants me.” I was messaging loads of people & loads of them either didn’t respond or found one tiny thing wrong with the place. It was rare someone contacted me to see the space. 

After understanding this story & managing to employ SOME of my tools, I flipped the story, to embody ‘I am beautiful’, (a less than easy thing for me to write). 

Things changed, I had people contacting me, lots of them. And after I found someone, still lots of them were contacting me. 

By the way, an absolutely crucial element of bringing yourself out of shame is to share your story with someone you trust. “If you put shame in a petri dish and cover it with judgement, silence and secrecy, it grows out of control.” Brene Brown – ‘I Thought It Was Just Me (But It isn’t)

Sometimes, words mean nothing. Sometimes you just need someone with you in empathy, possibly saying something like, ‘this fucking sucks’. You simply need to be heard & seen, to help you out of that secrecy, silence & judgement. So I contacted a friend, something I wouldn’t have done before because I wouldn’t want to be a burden.

Sound familiar?

Over the past 8 or so years, since I broke up with the aforementioned girlfriend, through kinesiology, I have cleared many layers of what has been getting in the way of building & trusting my own resilience.

In the middle of this excruciating panic, alongside the reveal of this ‘No one wants me story’ I was able to have an awareness of the duality of the absolute gift of this situation. This housemate has been a magnificent teacher.

Her behaviour showed me the underlying childhood pattern playing out:

From childhood, here’s how it went…

  •  I do something ‘wrong’, 
  • there is verbal abuse, 
  • sometimes hitting, 
  • always name calling, 
  • I wouldn’t understand what I had done, 
  • no one would tell me, 
  • I would be ignored 
  • an eggshell environment was created
  • a few days later, they would act like nothing happened.

Two of my biggest shame triggers – Rejection and being Ignored.

Except for the hitting part, my housemate played this scenario out exactly!

And, I am abundantly grateful that while it was happening 

  1. I stayed aligned with my values of connection & autenticity, 
  2. I didn’t treat her how she treated me & for the most part kept calm
  3. I stood up for myself
  4. I could see this pattern from childhood

Resilience. 

Its only through building resilience & trust in my core values as guiding lights, that I feel totally magnificent about how I showed up, my integrity in tact, that I was able to celebrate that afterwards & didn’t do what I would usually do – give myself a hard time.

 During the housemate altercation, I could BE in the duality of the moment – the panic AND seeing the big picture with absolute love & compassion.

Finding a new housemate – the duality of panic about my ‘No one wants me’ story AND embodying the new ‘I am beautiful’ story at the same time. Being the compassionate witness, watching myself navigating the duality of the two stories – facsinating.

Panic. Shame. Resilience. Calm.

Can you be in both extremes of something simultaneously? The dualities?


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The Duality of Connection & Disconnection: Acts of Kindness During Christmas and Beyond.

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About a week ago, I had a friend message me to check in with me, in acknowledgement that Christmas is not always the happiest time of year for everyone.

She is spot on.

Christmas can be a time of joy, belonging, connectedness and family, and it can be a time of grief, loneliness, disconnection and separation.

Many people have a tough time around Christmas for varied reasons. Being surrounded with themes of being with family & friends in the media, and for many of us, the dreaded question, “What are you doing for Christmas?”, can exacerbate loneliness and enhance feelings of inadequacy.

For me, there is a sense of dread every year. I am of Jewish background and don’t celebrate Christmas or Jewish holidays either, and generally don’t have options to spend the day with people. It is also a time when a dear friend committed suicide a few days before Christmas, 8 years ago.

This creates a space of duality.

I can acknowledge and feel grateful to know about the belonging, joy & connectedness of others, whilst at the same time feeling my own pain of disconnection & grief, and the similar pains of others.

Holding space for this duality simultaneously, is also a paradox. It takes much energy to hold this kind of space, without getting caught up in one end of the scale or the other and staying in a space of acknowledging and honouring the contrast. At the same time, there is a sacredness of connection in being in this duality – the duality of feeling disconnection from most people around me with their joy and belonging and connected BECAUSE I am holding space for their connection and my disconnection simultaneously.

To know my pain doesn’t diminish another’s joy or vice versa – that is what makes me feel more connected. I can feel grateful for other’s joy, whilst simultaneously not denying my grief.

The simple acknowledgement from my friend that it may not be the happiest time, the act of checking in, can have such an impact on a person’s life. Not just st this time, but any time. Just to know someone was thinking of me, knowing my situation, filled my heart with connection and gratitude and meant so much to me.

If you know of people who are likely to be alone this Christmas or even suspect as much, a simple act of kindness in this crazy busy time could be a small message, text or phone call: “Hey, I was thinking of you.” 

And not only for Christmas. “Hey, I’m thinking of you.” at any time can help transform someone’s not so great energy, to feel even just a little more uplifted.

I like to check in with people, just as much as I like people to check in with me. It is a simple act of kindness, that can create a loving, generous, uplifting vibration to ripple through our interconnectedness.


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Embodying Presence

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Ten years ago, around this time of year, I was presenting my graduate performance choreography, “In The Absence of Presence” for my Bachelor of Arts in Performance Studies.

It was a challenging time as my then partner and I were at the same time planning to move back to live in Ireland where her family live.

I decided to do the piece, as for the year before, my partner was living in Ireland and I was in Australia. At that stage, we had been together for 10 years. The theme of the piece was about what I was going through, living away from my partner for a year. Absence, longing, belonging, waiting, waiting, waiting.

At the time of making the work, I had glimmers of what it was really about, glimmers that I quickly shoved aside.

It was really about being absent from my own presence. I was lost. I didn’t know who I was for a long time before I made the choreography and for a very long time afterwards.

I had a kinesiology session today and something wonderful emerged with what I have been experiencing of late.

My way to move to the next stage of connection, expansion, balance and growth is to embody presence.

I have been intellectualising my spiritual self and abandoning it at the same time. I’ve been resisting that I can trust the flow of spiritual growth. I’ve been in a state of looking for proof of anything and everything instead of leaning into the joy of what I love with Kinesiology and the research I’ve been doing to develop new protocols, ironically, one new protocol about elements of trust.

I haven’t been integrating spiritual growth with other aspects of myself.

Over the last few months, many of my clients have needed brain integration balancing, and many of those sessions have also been about being present.

The techniques I employ in a kinesiology session, in these cases, to do with brain integration, not only help clients become more present in their lives, they also have had spectacular results in gaining clarity for decision making, gaining focus, clearing brain fog, and moving forward with ease and confidence in trusting the entirety of their being.

In our growth, integration of all aspects of self, even those parts we may not necessarily want to integrate, go to make us whole. In clearing the blockages to integration, we move our whole self forward, embodying presence.

How do you embody presence?


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Shame Resilience: My Mother’s Day Experience

 

For me, Mother’s Day reminds me of two things. My feelings towards my own mother and my feelings about not being a mother. This is not the same every year, but this year, these feelings have taken over.

The feelings I get the majority of the time when I am around my mother, or going to be around her are dread, draining, inadequacy, guilt, not belonging, not good enough, disconnection, inauthentic, and deep deep shame. I have done an abundance of work around issues with her. And despite all the work I’ve done, I still feel shame not only with the issues with her, but also shame about the feelings I have. Especially when I have so much empathy with her about her own experiences.

I made a list of the emerging emotions around issues with my mother and issues with not being a mother and they are alarmingly similar! Today, however, I am going to lean towards addressing the experiences in regards to my own mother.

I was on my way to my mother’s house yesterday, walking along, an abundance of negative self talk (about the feelings about my mother), going through my head (I’m an asshole, I’m mean, I’m spoilt, I have no gratitude, I hate myself for feeling like this, I’m ashamed), and desperately wanting to smoke (I quit 4 years ago) or wanting some cake type thing (I still do this!).

So there I am, perpetuating the shame experience by either indulging in, or thinking about undertaking behaviours where I believe I should be isolated – eating crap & smoking. And when I do eat crap now, it is in isolation.

These behaviours don’t align with two of my core values of authenticity & connection.

Instead I want to disconnect – numb and be inauthentic by hiding my way of ‘coping’.

I suddenly remembered some work I’ve been doing in Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly & Rising Strong courses I have been looking at all that I do, say, think, feel & running them through these values – authenticity & connection, my driving forces.

So I came back to authenticity and connection – the resources that help me show up when I lose sight of my way and those shaming thoughts take over.

The only way to pull myself out of the shame I feel is to reconnect with my heart space & my reminder through the day became to shower myself with love & empathy, to love myself even though I feel this way.

From my work in Kinesiology & working with clients, I come back to reminding myself in my more logical moments, that the reaction I am having is an emotional one and that part of my brain has taken the reigns & logic is tied to the back of the horse carriage by a rope, stumbling along, trying to catch up to help steer the carriage. My entire being, in this reactional state, has gone into either a fight mode, fly away mode, freeze – just stop dead in its tracks or fragmentation mode – where I am trying to fight, fly away & freeze all at the same time and my being doesn’t know where its at.

In a kinesiology session, one of the techniques we often work with to help move through this kind of state are subconscious sabotages. We use a combination of tapping and the following phrase (the wording changes with some variables), along with an emotion, to clear whatever obstacle or sabotage our subconscious patterning is putting in the way of us moving forward with an issue:

For Example

In spite of this conflict in attitude about shame around my mother, I deeply and profoundly love, accept, respect and appreciate myself.”

So, along with reconnecting with my values of connection and authenticity, I found the variables, did the technique and released that deep emotional state that took hold……

Then I showered myself in love and empathy. And not in the form of cake either!

I don’t think I’m alone with my feelings about being around my mother and my feelings about not being a mother.

To stay authentic and connected, I am showing up and being seen with this experience.

I am writing this so whoever reads this and can relate with the emotions of the experiences, can know that they are not alone. I have been second guessing about whether to put this out there or not, for several reasons, one of which is that someone I know has lost her mother today. And also, because I look at all the flak people receive in the media for speaking about things like this and it almost stops me.

This time, I won’t let it stop me. The importance of connection and authenticity far outweigh any flak I might receive for any of the content of this article.


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Half Price Kinesiology Sessions For Kinesiology Week: Starting March 14th

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Its National Kinesiology week March 14th – 20th.

To mark this celebration, I am offering a 50%, yes 50% discount to all clients who have their sessions this week.

And, I will be extending this offer until March 24th, just before Easter!!!

So for these 10 days, you can have your session half price.

You may have issues with something physical, mental, emotional, chemical, mental, spiritual or energetic, Kinesiology can help.

Whether you have had Kinesiology with me before, or are totally new to it, this offer applies to you.

50% off whatever you would normally pay!!!

If you want to forward this onto a friend who may be interested, the fee for any new client is usually $120, ($127 in Black Rock)

So they will pay only $60 ($63.50 in Black Rock) for a first session!!!

Hours of operation are Monday – Wednesday & Saturday at Malvern, or Thursdays in Black Rock.

Places will book fast.

The first week in nearly filled already!!!!

You must book & attend your session within this time period from March 14th – March 23rd to receive your discount.

(Only one session per client in this 10 day time period)

And please, forward this offer to your friends & family!!!



I’ll look forward to celebrating the wonders of Kinesiology with you.

Please contact Jordie on 0420 649 611 or via jords367@gmail.com to reserve your session.


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Year of the Monkey, bringing the fun in!

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For about the last 6 weeks in Kinesiology sessions with clients, insights & messages keep flooding in about finding ways to bring more humour to situations or issues in our lives. Things like the energy of mischievous gnomes, thinking of an uplifting song, a funny movie or show, or a comedic memory that may be needed to bring in.

A sense of fun.

These are certainly not meant to undermine any situations or issues, merely to bring an alternate approach.

Then, a few days ago, I read about the energies of the upcoming Chinese New Year – the year of the Monkey.

The Red Fire Monkey is vibrant & playful, light & bright.

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Monkey energy doesn’t hide itself away. Its captivating when allowing itself to be seen. Monkey gives support to speak up.

Ask yourself, are you afraid to be truly seen?

The energy is active & creative & surprises you with the unexpected. It brings vitality & strength. The willingness to play & have fun opens the energy for change.

The shadow of the monkey is gossip, drama, negativity, so be aware & make an effort to remove yourself from these types of energies.

Release the need to control, keep a sense of humour & even if things seem like they’re not working, you may simply be going on an alternate path to get to your destination, a path which may be filled with unexpected opportunities for transformation & growth. You are likely to arrive at the desired outcome or even something better.

Enjoy the journey!!!

Create the energy of your journey.

Use laughter to be constructive, be adventurous, try something new.

Monkeys enjoy community, working together to create, to enjoy.

So how would you like to create your journey for the upcoming Chinese New Year?

What kind of energy would you like to invoke?


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The Magical Worry Box

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During one of my first units in my Diploma of Kinesiology – quite some time ago now, I was introduced to this technique of using a Worry Box.

Dunno who first came up with this technique, but to be honest, it hasn’t come up all that much in the years I have been both practicing Kinesiology & as a client.

But now…to me…it has become… The Magical Worry Box…..

The way it works is, you write down all your worries, individually on slips of paper & place them in the worry box. We then test for how many minutes a day & if there is a specific time of day for you to open this box & look at all the worries inside.

So it may be tested in a Kinesiology session, that you need to work with your worry box, say after dinner, for 10 minutes.

You take each piece of paper out in turn & say one says, “When will I get the vacuuming done?” – you then consider, “Do I want to worry about that?”, if you do, worry, then put it back in the box for tomorrow if you choose, or throw it away. If you find yourself thinking about any of the worries in the box at other times, you need to say to yourself,

Stop, you can deal with that later at your allotted time.”

Your worries may be about absolutely anything – from cleaning the house, to dealing with an illness. From your child going to a party, to issues in your relationship…..anything.

The point is choice. Choosing that these worries do NOT consume your life.

I have been doing this of late to deal with a particular situation where I have been perpetually overthinking, feeling anxious & trying to work something through.

So I decided to utilise this technique of The Magical Worry Box to help me.

Every night at 9:50 PM for 5 minutes, I open my box & look at my worries.

I have discovered several quite interesting things!!

Part of this technique is any time I start thinking about those things during the day, I interrupt myself & say: “Stop Jords, you can deal with that later at your allotted time.”

Now, in simply bringing awareness to every time I am thinking about those things, I am astounded at how much time & energy I am giving to my worries – basically to these things I have absolutely no control over!!!!!!

Say I’m awake for 16 hours in the day on average, I have actually been focusing on these things for about 4-6 hours out of every day.

I was shocked!

Then I stared to think of all the things I could have been thinking about, putting energy into instead!

I actually had to laugh at myself!!!!

The irony is, I get to my worry box, I look at the stuff in it & I’ve realised that it’s actually changed how I feel about it.

In giving myself permission to worry, it has taken the need or the habit of worry away. I have realised, it has almost become a habitual response to something I don’t understand & wish to. Just because I want to understand, does not mean I am going to understand in this way & worrying about it does very little other than taking up a lot of time & energy. I have been giving this situation so much power over me, doing this technique has helped me to start to channel this energy into the things that I want to.

When we interrupt negative thoughts or habitual patterns, or any patterns for that matter, whatever they are about, we start to develop new ways of dealing, new habits, new neural pathways. We design the way we want to live & what we want to focus on, rather than what we have always focused on or the way that we have always focused.

So, I ask you:

Is there anything that you are perpetually worrying about, putting lots of energy into? Would you like to be using that energy in other ways?